The Bipolar Lock keeper

Mum

Remains in Huddersfield Royal. She is safe there and they are getting the chest infection under control as she is back on by mouth.

Graham

The BD makes the first presentation to someone new very challenging particularly if they don’t do what I need. The adrenaline BD produces wants me to do everything faster. I am already at the end point. I need everyone to catch up.

The triage system and night cover in the NHS is really challenging as you go over the same things. I really just want to talk to the same person. The NHS is so fucked it cannot deliver a simple task.

I have looked at this though the lens of the IT world I have worked in. I have a very particular set of skills #taken to deliver programme “Send Mum to Dad”.

It is a programme with a series of little project. Started with Mum having delirium on Wednesday resulting in her being admitted #crisismanagement

We are now working to get her rehomed in Mill Reef Care Home which is 8 mins away & they have a vacancy.

Some photos

I realise my BD has reached Manic phase. I was given a perfect analogy of BD states recently. The characters Eeyore & Tigger. Both lovable. They equate to my Low Count High Count

The other analogy I am using to help me cope is It’s A Wonderful Life. I am George Bailey.

To summarise

I am trying to manage the End of Life stage of a beloved parent with 2 added challenges – BD and the fact she is totally dependant on benzodiapam (most common brand Vallium)

I saw her in clear distress on Tuesday night. Visiting hours were about over. I asked to witness the nurse give her the meds her colleague promised me HE would manage. The problem is when is the most critical time for her meds – bedtime & due the shift system it is NOT him doing the job. The night nurse said the two words I hate most in the world at the mo – With Respect which basically means she is not going to help me. Basically polite FU & I went mental. Security were called.

I’m in mental crisis now, I am trying to deal with the most ineffective service delivery organisation ever and they are the only option #nhsisfucked.