The Bipolar Lock keeper

I had the opportunity to visit my old school this week.

Let’s get this out of the way first, I went to a private “fee paying” selective all boys grammar school.

Before I get lambasted as a privileged stuck up Tory prick, both my parents were BGS alumni. I passed an entrance exam (2 papers – Maths & English) that I took in what would now be Year 6 and got a scholarship/free place after smashing the 11+

At my junior school, I would be top or near top of the class but BGS I wasn’t. A fair few of my year group – class of ‘84 – went on Oxbridge universities. Instead I went on to study Engineering Maths at The University.

Has attending a private school shaped me as a human being? No, I don‘t think so. I did OK academically – 4 A Levels & 8 O Levels (all C or higher) and it afforded me the opportunity to go on to university. At Uni, I was less interested in the academic side and enjoyed “Party central”. I loved the 3 years’ in Nottingham and met some of the most amazing friends, with whom I’ll celebrate a 40 year anniversary with in September.

I did come out with an Bsc Hons degree at the end but could have got a higher grade if I’d worked harder.

Do I regret it – absolutely not. Infamously I travelled from Nottingham to Manchester to attend a Run DMC & Beastie Boys gig the night before one of my final year exams. Don’t remember the exam but do remember the gig. Of these things, legends are made.

School taught me to work hard, Newton’s 3 Laws of motion – which was enough to get me through my Uni interview 😎 and also that it’s not always a competition. There were cleverer people in my classes – FACT. On the whole, I enjoyed my time at school.

Quite a few things have changed since I was there. The boys & girls schools have been merged into one school with one Principal. Interestingly some year groups are still taught in gender classes.

I was interviewed for a possible role of the board of governors. 6 person panel for a voluntary role – tough gig. I was asked what I felt about mixed versus boys/girls only and I answered I’m in favour of mixed environment as it gives a better world perspective.

In summary, your school does not make you who you are. It can help shape your life journey but you choose what is important for you, the people you want as friends & partners and what you value in life.

The drive up was lovely. Beautiful sunny evening driving passed wind farms.

Roll forward 18 hours & its grey, very damp and miserable. Way aye man – Welcome to The North East Sport!

The rain might have done its best to spoil the gig and opening song Waitin’ on a Sunny Day may have been the most apt song choice ever to start a set, but Bruce Springsteen had his Sunderland audience in the palm of his hand on Wednesday night, as he delivered an evening of classics to a rain drenched Stadium of Light.

The rain came down vertically, horizontally, diagonally, relentlessly; at times in sheets of water pouring from the sky.

Luckily we found some seats in the lower tier of the stand that had a great view of the stage and they offered a little bit of protection from the elements that the pitch standing would not have given us.

But nobody in the Stadium of Light cared, because there is nobody like Bruce Springsteen. I was a Bruuuce virgin & now I’ve been indoctrinated into “The E Street Church”, I’m hooked.

He is captivating, mesmerising to watch; he exudes leadership both of the crowd and his ensemble. He’s fully in command at all times, with an audience of all ages hanging on his every word.

We were treated to 3 hours of classic Bruuce. His energy level never dipped from the opening track to the closing solo acoustic “I’ll See You In My Dreams” and he is ably supported by The E street band who themselves are legends – Little Steven & Nils Lofgren anyone!

My highlight probably Badlands but it was all top notch.

Large vessel came through from Walsden this morning.

Skipper Bruce said they have mooring just this side of Summit Lock. On way to Nottingham to have full service, allowing a month to get there & back.

Gave him a couple of free cold Peroni’s. Next time I charge 💰

More boats coming up from Tod as weather improves but I think there is a bottle neck further up as Summit Lock is limiting traffic so boats have to book their slot

Up early to beautiful sunny morning with clear blue skies.

When the sun shines here, I don’t think there is anywhere else in the world I’d rather be. Everything I need is or on my doorstep. 🏡

• WOW Factor ✅
• Water ✅
• Hills & Moors ✅
• Beautiful walks ✅
• Stunning views ✅
• Local produce/Market town ✅
• 3 Supermarkets ✅
• Vinyl shops ✅
• Good cafes, pubs & restaurants
• Easy Access to Manchester & Leeds ✅

Walked to Morrison’s along the canal and back up Dobroyd Road to catch the hillside views.

Loved the stillness, it is very calming.

Reflections

Stillness

Walk up Dobroyd Road & Views of TOD

I always thought I was a patient person but bipolar mood changes make things more difficult.

It is really tough being patient when I am operating on a couple hours of sleep or when all I want to do is crawl back into bed.

I am learning what I call “true” patience and sometimes it is really hard.

True patience is what you need to put another’s needs above yours and give them what they need when they ask for it. Parents will experience it in the first few months of a new born baby. I am learning this superpower as I care for my mum.

Some days I fail epically! My brain wants to explode and I just want to scream. Others we reach the nirvana of calmness. I’m hoping over the coming weeks and months that the latter become prevalent.

I love it when we close out the day and Mum says “that was a nice day”. Reducing my working hours has really benefitted in making that more commonplace.

Weather has improved this week with some lovely sunshine.

Spring is definitely here now

Mood = 7

Sleep = 4 hours no sleeping tabs left!

My spending tends to track my mood state.

Hyper-mania leads to more social engagement & I book more events. Gigs/Festivals probably being my major expense! – although the new house has been costly since December 😱. Hopefully that will reduce as i have the big jobs done.

I have taken to getting a “Level Set” before making big purchases or medium/long term commitments.

A recent example is booking accommodation now for a big 6-0 celebration in 2025. Given AirBnB rates quoted, it looked a “no brainer” to book it now before it was snapped up. Fortunately Sam agreed so the same AirBnB I booked last year for Declan’s wedding is now booked for 2025. We are going back to Las Vegas baby 🇺🇸🎰

When I am in low mood, I worry about spending and may stress about costs incurred when I was in a high. Have I overspent? Why did I buy that, do I really need it?

There have been gigs that I’ve bought tickets for but not attended. I know right 😱 – The Count missing a gig. Only happens if I’m not feeling good or in a low mood.

At the other end of the spectrum, I push the envelope when high. A couple of years ago, I went to see Billy Joel in NEW YORK MADISON SQUARE GARDEN. All in with travel & accommodation, my most expensive gig ever. Was it worth it? Abso **** Lutely. I had goosebumps all the way through.

Some photos from the trip

I made good use of the trip doing touristy things in NYC, a couple of nights in Niagara Falls and catching up with friends in Boston. Lotus/IBM has given me friends around the world. 🌎

I always balance out my bank account over 12 months. If i spend big in Winter for the coming summer then I have a quieter Autumn/Winter.

When i was married, we had a joint account & separate personal accounts with an amount transferred in each month. My ex-wife was convinced I would use joint funds for excessive spending but it never happened so I do have CONTROL 💰💰